It's a long road

Today, after 3 days of driving 9+ hours each day, we pulled onto Northern Road and my stomach sank. We passed Pimlico and I was nervous about what the next building would be. The lights of the hospital were seen as we approached the corner and it took all I had to hold back the tears. We got out of the car and I heard the excitement in Zackary’s voice knowing where we were, remembering all the time we got to spend together in this building and he was stoked to be able to WALK up to the key pad and know the ‘secret’ code to get into the building even though it had changed since the last time we were here. (hint: it’s always the current year) How is he so excited? What is there to be happy about? Why can I not have the faith and memory of a child who is just excited to experience life? He has surgery in 2 days and he’s excited to hold my hand as we cross the threshold of the Hackerman-Patz House together to take on our next adventure as a family.

The four of us started our driving adventure to Baltimore Friday morning spending Friday night pool side in Tulsa, Saturday night with a house full of fun Miller cousins in Louiville, KY and pulling in just shy of 9:30pm tonight to Baltimore. It was quite the drive that lead us from 70 degrees and sunny to 32 degrees and snow! There was one season we missed living here last year and apparently God wanted to make sure that we were able to experience that one, winter. I’m not the happiest seeing as how I didn’t pack a jacket or boots but Johnny is stoked so I guess it all evens out.

The last time I walked the halls of this building I was lonely, scared, sad, frustrated and questioning what choices we had made on behalf of Zackary, watching your son struggle day in and day out takes a toll on you. As a parent you always do what you think is best for your child but there are some choices you look back at and wonder if it was truly the right thing. This has obviously been the best option physically for him, he gained 3” of growth in his left leg! And of course I’d like to think mentally we didn’t screw him up too much. No person wants to go through months of pain and recovery but he took it like a champ and believe it or not is just as loving and smiley as he always has been. He remembers things more, like pain, recovery and understands the concept of time along with other things unlike when we went through things like this when he was littler but like I stated in the beginning he’s oddly excited to be here, his ‘home’ from last year, as he calls it.  So as I now unlock the door to our room and unpack to prepare for the week I have the faith of a child, MY child, and hold his hand boldly as we prepare for the surgery on Tuesday to remove the rod from his left leg.