It Always has to be Something

Surgery has come and gone and just like that we have survived another hospital visit. Zackary is silently, well snoring away loudly, next to me as I type. So is Adam but that’s another story J Any parent with a child who has gone through something extreme knows how exhausting it is, but back to Zackary… We woke up earlier then the sun and walked across to the street to Sinai Hospital and was checked in and in pre-op by 6:30am. Everything was looking good, almost too good, and we even almost added a last minute addition to the surgery, but decided to go with the original plan and schedule out future surgeries soon. Those details will be figured out more on Thursday morning and will clarify more things then.

Not 10 minutes after he had rolled him away the doctor came out to talk with us and that was definitely a first! Shouldn’t he be back there, doing surgery?! Just a thought. Well he had to come out to let us know once he got a closer look things weren’t quite like the way he wanted them to be. That’s tough news to hear when you’ve driven over 1900 miles and taken your spring break and the last 2 months preparing for this surgery. He let us know that the density of the bone was not strong enough for him to feel confident to remove the rod completely without high risk of fracturing occurring or requiring him to stay very inactive for an unknown amount of time and we all know how well that goes with a kid. He says the bone is about 80-90% dense compared to the right leg. This is his whole left leg, not just the spot where the lengthening occurred last year. He says this is caused by first doing the aggressive surgery last year but also just from years of not using that leg as much as the right leg. We will discuss methods of strengthening the bone come our appointment on Thursday as well. He let us know that instead of taking out the rod and screws he will just be taking out the screws. What this does by leaving the rod in is a second defense of stability for the femur. However, by removing the screws it has changed the hardware from static to dynamic which means the rod will be able to move around a little within the inside of the bone and without the screws the bone will be the first thing to absorb movement, instead of the hardware, so it can be used more to strengthen the bone.

With that said, the surgery came and went like I first mentioned and Zackary was back in his own bed by 11am, Johnathan and Ivan (who was visiting from NY) weren’t even awake yet! LOL He’s eaten and drank a little but is already asking for Taco Bell so we know he’s back to himself! He’s also walking on his own, a little slow but still with no assistance. The doctor also let us know it was very important to schedule the appointment on Thursday morning before we leave to go over the next procedures that could be coming up for him as early as this summer. But on a crazy and positive note one thing we did learn today was that Zackary is actually supposed to be almost 6 feet 4 inches tall, so with his adjustments he may ONLY be 6’-6’1”!! Thank goodness for tall genes!

Until next time (hopefully around Thursday),

Momma Miller

It's a long road

Today, after 3 days of driving 9+ hours each day, we pulled onto Northern Road and my stomach sank. We passed Pimlico and I was nervous about what the next building would be. The lights of the hospital were seen as we approached the corner and it took all I had to hold back the tears. We got out of the car and I heard the excitement in Zackary’s voice knowing where we were, remembering all the time we got to spend together in this building and he was stoked to be able to WALK up to the key pad and know the ‘secret’ code to get into the building even though it had changed since the last time we were here. (hint: it’s always the current year) How is he so excited? What is there to be happy about? Why can I not have the faith and memory of a child who is just excited to experience life? He has surgery in 2 days and he’s excited to hold my hand as we cross the threshold of the Hackerman-Patz House together to take on our next adventure as a family.

The four of us started our driving adventure to Baltimore Friday morning spending Friday night pool side in Tulsa, Saturday night with a house full of fun Miller cousins in Louiville, KY and pulling in just shy of 9:30pm tonight to Baltimore. It was quite the drive that lead us from 70 degrees and sunny to 32 degrees and snow! There was one season we missed living here last year and apparently God wanted to make sure that we were able to experience that one, winter. I’m not the happiest seeing as how I didn’t pack a jacket or boots but Johnny is stoked so I guess it all evens out.

The last time I walked the halls of this building I was lonely, scared, sad, frustrated and questioning what choices we had made on behalf of Zackary, watching your son struggle day in and day out takes a toll on you. As a parent you always do what you think is best for your child but there are some choices you look back at and wonder if it was truly the right thing. This has obviously been the best option physically for him, he gained 3” of growth in his left leg! And of course I’d like to think mentally we didn’t screw him up too much. No person wants to go through months of pain and recovery but he took it like a champ and believe it or not is just as loving and smiley as he always has been. He remembers things more, like pain, recovery and understands the concept of time along with other things unlike when we went through things like this when he was littler but like I stated in the beginning he’s oddly excited to be here, his ‘home’ from last year, as he calls it.  So as I now unlock the door to our room and unpack to prepare for the week I have the faith of a child, MY child, and hold his hand boldly as we prepare for the surgery on Tuesday to remove the rod from his left leg.